Q1 2019: Racing the Planet New Zealand Pre(r)amble

As most of you know a year or so ago I started about setting myself quarterly challenges, with those completed in 2018 taking me to India, Belgium, France and the destination on any respectable person’s bucket list……Slough. Some of you were even generous enough to sponsor me so thank you again for that. The 2019 challenges are kicking off imminently, more accurately this Sunday (although I have the first of three flights tonight) near Wanaka in New Zealand.  I’ll be taking part in a 250km self-supported 6 stage ultramarathon, Marathon des Sables meets Lord of the Rings essentially. More details here if you want.         

In preparation, most weekends over the last few months have been spent trundling around Richmond Park and Hampstead Heath, or along the South Downs Way and The Ridgeway.  If nothing else it was a heart-warming reminder that we have some stunning scenery just on London’s doorstep.  Let’s just brush over the fact I’m naively hoping that the carb overloading I’ve done is enough to compensate for how underprepared I am for the elevation that’s to be tackled (c.30,000 ft), Blonde by name, blonde by nature! Tilda and Swinton, the bags of rice that I’ve been carrying around to get used to the c.10kg weight I’ll be carrying, unless I decide not to actually eat anything, probably not the wisest decision to take, along with the ever eloquent Elizabeth Day and Dolly Alderton on their podcasts, have been great company.  More importantly though, lots of you have patiently put up with rather blustery phone calls, thank you, I’m extremely grateful. What could have been quite a lonely process was surprisingly fun. 

Bar the training I’ve also had to take a crash course in the art of ‘packing light’; any of you who’ve been on holiday with me will know that this has been a completely alien concept to me until now. Although the mandatory kit list does include a mirror, this isn’t meant to be used to check the progress of any tan (let’s be honest I won’t get one, I never do, but regardless just tell me I look brown when I do next see you) but instead to attract attention in case of an emergency, in a nutshell it’s very much safety and sustenance over style!

As I said, I’m not asking for sponsorship this time, mainly because I loathe asking for money but I’m also very conscious of the number of PSMs* we all receive. Saying that, my boss has kindly agreed to a 6 month sabbatical later in the year so be warned I will likely be rattling my begging bowl in your vicinity ahead of any Q3 and Q4 challenges. Once back from New Zealand I’ll be plotting what I might get up to so any suggestions of trips and also charities that you feel strongly I should support would be fab, please do wing them over.       

So, instead of your pennies and pounds this time, I’d just love to hear from you as I fear there are going to be low moments a plenty; Take That’s ‘Never Forget’, Dobble-induced levels of determination and Pringles will only get me so far. In the space of a second I fluctuate between feeling excited and so lucky given the impending extraordinary scenery, the opportunity to meet new people and the potential sense of achievement (how to ruddy jinx things before I’ve even started) to then feeling sick and tearful as the nerves take over. 

Via some fancy satellite technology you will be able to send messages and track my tortoise pace progress. Just one caveat, which I may well regret sharing, is that all messages will be public so some of you might have to filter what you say.  That does obviously mean that I am completely helpless to whatever drivel you may send; I was hoping to make at least one or two friends out of the other c.180 competitors but that is bound to be wishful thinking as guaranteed you’ll enjoy sabotaging any of my charm offensive attempts!  Rather than tending blisters I fear I’m going to be spending a lot of time denying any knowledge of some of your existences, what can I say, it was fun while it lasted. To send a message the easiest way is to click on the ‘Send an Email’ next to my name on the link here. FYI I won’t be able to reply to any messages, nor will I have phone reception until the end. 

Right, that’s far, far too much from me and I have a plane to catch, sorry again for such a self-indulgent message. I’m back in the UK on 18 March, after a week of recovery in the North Island with Middle and Minor Wintour, so very much hope to catch up with you all and hear your news soon after that.   

Big love and a huge thanks in advance for any messages.

xxxxx

*PSMs as featured in the chinocchios.chin.dictionary, Fulham’s answer to the Oxford English Dictionary.

n.

Please Sponsor Me’s.  Of the multitude in your chinbox, the best ones propose an endeavour you did yesterday on your lunch break, for a not-that-high-priority cause.

Hi All,

This summer Hattie and I are running The Balham 3km! We’ll email you daily training updates.  We’re trying to raise £895,000.  So far we’re on £603.15.  Please sponsor us! We’re running for “SkiAfrica”.  SkiAfrica is a charity that sends second-hand ski equipment to African kids. xxx